How to stop yelling at our kids as Christian single dads
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SINGLE DAD SUPPORT
How to Stop Yelling at My Kids as a Christian Single Dad
The best way to stop yelling at my kids as a Christian single dad was to find the real root of my fear.
Until we can discover the underlying cause of our rage, the best way to stop yelling at our kids is to try to notice BEFORE we get angry. At first, we will catch ourselves in the middle of screaming. Even then we should stop and apologize and explain how we reacted wrong. Then we can continue disciplining our kids in a way they can learn to change their behavior.
Once we have a handle on our anger and feel like we have a little more control over our violent outbursts, we can try to get to the root of the real issue of why we keep yelling at our kids and then feeling guilty about it
You see, anger is a secondary emotion that can only occur when we have a different, or many different, (Primary) emotions building up in our minds and hearts that we are unsure of.
In most cases, this feeling is FEAR.
If you are a single father, then you know what I am talking about. No matter how well everything is going, there is always that scary feeling that someone is going to pull the rug out from beneath our feet.
As single fathers, we have a lot on our plates and there is a ton of pressure to provide. However the main focus of a Dad, in every sense of the word, is that our family doesn't ever know anything about these struggles.
We are to go on like everything is just fine. On the outside we are to look strong and confident; on the inside... we are as scared and unsure as everyone else.
Single Dads are afraid of going homeless.
Single dads are afraid of their kids going hungry.
Single dads are scared of being bad fathers.
When we are scared and unsure of ourselves we can oftentimes react in a harsh and unfriendly manner. When we are afraid of something and we don't know how to communicate, we can get downright mean.
What Will Happen if I Don't Stop Yelling at My Kids as a Christian Single Dad?
Yelling becomes a dangerous weapon when we are raised around it. We can use it to defend ourselves and also when we are offended. When we grow up in a house full of anger and yelling, we tend to mold our families and home around the same pattern.
At some point, if somebody doesn't take the steps to stop yelling at their kids, the world will only become a more angry and irritated place to live.
Our kids will constantly try to figure out what is wrong with them. while we are only really yelling because our boss made us angry or we can't pay the phone bill.
The only thing we can do is hold ourselves accountable for losing our temper. We need to always hold our children accountable for their actions, but if we lose our cool and totally spaz out on them, we should immediately apologize and explain how we were wrong.
If you are stressing about how to stop yelling at your kids as a Christian single dad then you are in the majority. Anger can get the best of all of us. If we are not careful, we can actually let this anger define us. And trust me, nobody wants to be labeled as mean.
People usually have a lot of other fancy words for a mean person and we don't want to be known as any of them either. Especially to our kids.
Why I Personally Wanted to Stop Yelling at My Kids as a Christian Single Dad
There are many nicknames and words that our kids will throw at us as they grow up. The names that refer to someone they don't like, well, they can get pretty nasty.
Luckily for us, we aren't going to be mean single fathers. We will do anything to learn how to stop yelling at our kids as Christian single dads.
We are going to wake up every morning and look at ourselves in the mirror and say " I am a good dad and a nice person. God has a plan for me and I will be patient and trust in the Lord. I deserve the best life possible and my kids deserve the best single dad possible."
The main problem that I personally have with yelling at my kids is that it is not always due to them misbehaving or breaking rules. I often yell at my kids because I have been faking a smile all day and now I can finally let out my frustrations.
Why on earth would I give complete strangers the best version of me all day and then turn into a complete whining jerk when I get home to my family and the people I love?
As a dedicated single dad, I have battled addiction. As a Christian single dad, I struggle with lust and it seems like porn and sex are everywhere. As a Christian single dad, I struggle with foul language. As a single man, I struggle with dating and relationships. As a Christian single dad, I have multiple battles inside my head every day but the thing I struggle with most is raising my voice at my kids.
When I discovered that most single dads want to stop yelling at their kids, I decided to make that a main focus point of my Christian single dad group. The best way to stop yelling at my kids as a Christian single dad is to find other single fathers that struggle with getting angry at the wrong people too.
If you are a single dad and want to stop yelling at your kids and finally feel a sense of peace in your life, we feel your pain and want to help. The Cross Eyed Christian Fellowship is a Christian Single Dad Group offering support to all struggling single fathers. We are a family that stands together, raises money together, to survive together.